Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
We left the knife in your bed.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
Randomize
