Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
Banned from zoo.
Again?
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
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