The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize
