I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
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