I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
Randomize
