where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
Randomize
