Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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