Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
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