Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
Randomize
