tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
Randomize
