I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
Randomize
