Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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