Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Randomize
