she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
Randomize
