does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
Randomize
