you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
Randomize
