stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
Randomize
