hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
COCAINE IS GR8
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
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