Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
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