There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
Randomize
