Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
Randomize
