at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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