Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
Randomize
