Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
Randomize
