were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
Randomize
