I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
Randomize
