Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
Randomize
