Your face is a jimmy john
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Randomize