its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
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