You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
