I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
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