stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
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