Cold hands, warm shart.
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
