how could I be having a bad time, I have the three most important things in life: Goat cheese, Xanax, and Saved By the Bell Re-runs.
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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