i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
I would ride that face into the sunset
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
Randomize
