he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
Randomize
