I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
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