If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
