I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
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