yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
Randomize
