Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
Randomize
