Just cropdusted the office
Its about making memories worth repressing
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Randomize
