return my video game
well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Randomize
