Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
home. puking in laundry basket.
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
Semen is not good for contacts.
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
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