how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
That was before I lit my hair on fire
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
