You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Randomize
