I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
Randomize
