had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
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