True but thats because hes a fetus.
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
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