im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
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