Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
Randomize
