Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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