No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
