What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
Randomize
