matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
Randomize
