after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
Randomize