tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
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I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
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