Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
a search helicopter?!
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
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