the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
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