scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
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