She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
zippers are such a cool invention
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Randomize