he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
Get my husband this drunk again I will rip off your balls off with my bare hands and then cut them up with a dirty axe like fish bits. Do you understand me? DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME?! See you at breakfast, FUCK FACE. I'll shove that bottle of Jamison so far up your ass you'll still be praying in 2020 you can take a shit! Seriously, you make it hard to be your best friend.
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
Randomize
