You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
Randomize
