I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize
