the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
Randomize
